Bon journo, I want a pony...please!!!

An open letter to Beta Motorcycles Australia; let's see what happens.

Buon giorno,

Obviously you guys do not know me from a can of chain lube. Here is the obligatory 'name drop' to ensure you read on: Garry Morrow thinks I am a genius and Neil and Simon Price (Motodynamics) love having me around so much they have just made me PR guy for X Trial Australia. If you know these people and you would like to get to know me then do please read on. 

I am not a journo, nor am I a rising enduro, supercross, trials or natural terrain mx superstar. I am not a 'has-been', nor am I a 'wannabe'. Rather, I am a biologist. An ecophysiologist, in fact. Which may make you wonder why you are receiving this letter. 

The simple fact is I love to ride and I love to write. I am already a part of your family. Here is my tribute to the brand: Its Not In My Genes. I believe I am the ultimate 'Test Pilot' for Beta. Certainly, I doubt there are any other riders in Australia that would do to a trials bike what I have done to mine.

In the coming weeks and months, I am to undergo an intensive training regime which I suspect will take me from 'hack' to 'hardcore' on the bike. You see, at the moment, where I end up at the end of a dirtbike event is, ultimately, a consquence of blind luck. There is little skill involved. To get from the starting gate to the finish line I simple point the bike in one direction, twist the throttle and hang on. If something gets in my way, I turn. I am not fast, but I am faster than all of my mates. Though, sadly, I dont have that many.

Yep, can I ride!

Despite the fact that I have been riding on and off road for nearly thirty years, the extent of my knowledge on mechanics and maintenance could be engraved, in its entirity, into a crank case with a jack hammer. Please dont ask me which side of the bike the crank case is on, though I suspect it is not the side with the gear lever sticking out. I have an '89 Ducati 851, an '89 anniversery GSXR750, a KTM Freeride250R and the Beta Evo 250, so you can understand the pain of my ignorance. 

When I last took my Evo in for a service (a few years after I purchased it) Simon informed me that my air filter had nearly disintegrated. I found this odd, because (for some stupid reason) I was a little surprised this bike even had one. After all, it doesn't even have a seat. I am not making this up; you can ask him. He can be contacted on email at Motodynamics. I did the last enduro event on my KTM with no back brakes. I swear to god they were working when I purchased the bike new in 2013. 

My skills on the tools are undeniable. How else would I maintain such a fine stable.

All that being said, I feel I am the perfect 'crash test dummy' for the Beta brand. The brand is getting bigger and bigger. The top guns realise the potential of these bikes but the average weekend warrior is still retecent to cross over to something they feel is less well-proven than a KTM, Yamaha or Honda. I think you could use a 'e'racer like me to promote your brand.

Left of centre I most definately am: google me and you will see. It is for that reason that I am one of an empty handful of trail riders in WA that chose a KTM 250R Freeride over every other more 'normal' bike on the market. This bike has never started under its own steam in the 5 years I have owned it, but once it gets going it is mint to ride. 

However, for the journey a head of me, I seek to put the Freeride out to pasture. I am desperate for a Beta XTrainer as I am convinced this is the bike I need to be on. I will commence my ascendency under the tutelidge of Australian trials champ Neil Price and Mind On Matter, starting with seminars on the physics and principles, followed by a series of practical skills sessions, before taking on his Hardcore Extreme Enduro two day intesive workshop. 

I want a Beta X Trainer. Do you wan to give me one? I promise I will change the air filter regularly, provided Neil or Simon can show me where it is. 

Yours parasitically,

Mitch Ladyman

mitchladymanink.com

Only when truly ready are you, read on you must.

Are you alone? Are you sitting by yourself in a quiet, dark place? Are you somewhere where the dim glow of your shame won't alert friends or family to your pain. Are you far enough away from your mates so as not to cause them fright when your ego bursts? Only when truly ready are you, read on you must. 

Raise your left hand if you think you ride fast. OK. Raise your right hand if you truly, honestly and deeply know that you don't ride fast at all. Now, put your two hands together and pray for guidance and salvation.

In your mind, you are flowing from corner to corner; you push hard out of a berm or a rut on a tight right-hander and then you pin the apex and power slide out of the next sweeping, off-camber left. You wash off your speed to perfectly top-out a set of whoops that came out of nowhere and then you crush your pegs to compress your suspension and launch off a small kicker to clear a rocky creek bed. You are on fire. You are 'smokin'.........and then you get smoked by another rider that passes you as if you were standing still.

You are where I am; you know what I am talking about. Deny it no longer, you can. The cold, hard and brutal truth is that most of us are not nearly as good as we think we are and few of us are anywhere near as good as we could be.

Like a scene out of Top Gear (an analogy that won't make any sense unless you are a fan) my mates left me stranded at the starting gate on the opening 65 km loop of the Ironstone Capel Adventure Rally in 2017. Fair call. No surprise, but my bike wouldn't start....again. I didn't check time, but they had one hell of a head start. I was not at all fazed because, although we are all equally adept at riding, I am fitter, and I knew I would catch them as fatigue ate into their ride. By the 45 km mark I was convinced that I must have passed them because I was riding just so damn well. I was flying. I expected to be back in Park Ferme with my feet up in time to watch them roll in totally flogged out, but this did not happen. When I arrived they were already back, off their bikes and out of their gear. I was crushed. It was not that I wanted to beat them; it was because I, quite obviously, did not ride anywhere near the pace that I thought I did. I think I know why.

I am a two-stroke squirter. That does not sound at all flattering, but it does describe how I ride. I squirt from corner to corner and from one obstacle to the next. I look 'at' corners instead of through them. I see an obstacle as an obstruction rather than just another element of my ride. I get brain fade because my hazard perception is so poorly calibrated. I get tired, not because I am unfit, but because I am not bike fit. And when I get tired my ride turns to custard. Such is the psychology of enduro. When you lose confidence, you lose competence; when you get rattled you get riled; when you are suffering you are slow and riding slow is harder work than riding fast. So the improvement in my riding needs to start with an improvement in my thinking. If I can think better, I can act and react better and I will ride better. 

To achieve this I am going to have to get my Mind on Matter. "The physics of motorcycling is the same regardless of discipline, we just want different outcomes from the same principles.” Says Neil Price, who is the founder of X Trial Australia, was twice Australian trials champion and has decades of competition experience on the international Trials circuit. Neil knows a lot more than most about bike control.

Use the Force. Actually, don’t. Neil Price doesn’t.
Instead he uses the requisite amount of throttle, clutch and brake

To ride faster we must ride smarter and Neil can teach us how to do exactly that. So I have taken up the challenge and enrolled myself into Neil's 2-day Hard Enduro training camp. Neil runs a wide variety of training sessions to cater for all abilities and all facets of trail, trial and enduro riding. Like me, you can book a spot at Mind on Matter (Click here).

As a teaser and testimony to my in ability, here is a little video to show you where I am at: Ground Zero.